A CAREGIVER’S VALENTINE

          

A CAREGIVER’S VALENTINE

-Karen Brenner, Author of “You Say Goodbye and We Say Hello”  

                                              

We were impossibly young and so beautiful

When we met and fell in love.

You were the cool guy from the big city,

I was the shy small town girl.

 

I bring you photographs of those days long ago.

You look at me and smile and ask me who those people are.

I take your hand.

It is warm and strong in mine.

 

You don’t remember but you know that we belong together.

I tell you the stories of those two young people.

You listen intently and study their faces.

And look into my face with wonder in your eyes.

 

I have come to understand that it doesn’t matter

that you no longer remember who we were then.

It only matters that we can sit and hold hands

While I tell you stories of those two young lovers:

You and Me

 

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Poem – 56 Years

56 Years

 By Suzanne Chait-Magenheim, LCSW

(about my mother who died in 2010 written 10 days after my father’s funeral, 1995)

 

Lost in his big armchair

Like a little lost waif

Clutching his photo.

Forlorn and lost

Is that him at the door?

56 years.

Together.

She waits.

Is this a cruel joke?

Suddenly, an empty house

She heard the rabbi say

His name at the funeral

Hey, that’s Daddy’s name

She whispered to her daughter

That’s my husband’s name

She thought

Wait til I tell him.

Be quiet, it’s Daddy’s funeral,

Her daughter whispered back.

Oh, he’s dead.  I forgot.

She waits.

 

Doesn’t remember the hospital.

6 weeks they say….

I was with him…they say

I’m confused.  Memory’s not so good

anymore.

He died.  Daddy’s dead.

When’s he coming home?

56 years.

She waits.

 

The sweetest man who ever lived.

A jewel of a man, the rabbi said.

He’s all I know.

He’s the only one I ever liked,

I tell my daughter.

We had a wonderful love life,

I tell her.

But you dated a lot, her daughter said.

Oh, that didn’t mean anything.

Oh, you yelled at him all the time

Oh, that didn’t mean anything.

We were together.

That’s all that mattered.

56 years.

 

Where’s Daddy?

He died.

When?

10 days ago

That’s all?

She waits.

 

I don’t remember his being ill.

Oh, he sat in his chair and didn’t go out anymore

But we were happy just to be together.

We were supposed to grow old together.

He did, my daughter says.

No, no, it’s not possible.

He’ll come in the door.

56 years.

She waits.

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MY PRAYER, BY ANGELA MCCRIMMON

Here is a prayer from one of our followers.  Thank you for sharing Angela.

MY PRAYER

BY ANGELA MCCRIMMON

There are some prayers you never think you will pray,

You struggle to find the right words to say,

You search in your heart, you search in your soul,

They tell me in Him to step out and be bold.

 

They tell me He’ll listen if I ever speak,

He will give me hope when things look so bleak,

He will reassure me that things are okay,

He will bring me back when I walk away.

 

I tell myself “Well, I’ll give it a go,”

I hear him remind me I already know,

He’s shown me so many times in the past,

He’ll answer my prayer if only I’d ask….

 

“Dear Lord, he is weary, his body in pain,

His memory fails him again and again,

He looks so scared, so lost and alone,

Won’t you please come and take him back home.

Lord I am asking please won’t you be,

Close to him and set his heart free,

His body so frail it’s hard to believe,

He holds onto my hand when I try to leave.

Once so strong and now is so frail,

His mind so sharp, now his memory fails,

I’m there but I wonder does he even know,

He looks so sad when I turn to go.

I don’t know how much he does understand,

The only comfort I can give is my hand,

Locked in his world, words he can’t speak,

Once so strong and now is so weak.

I pray you will comfort him day after day,

When he’s lost somehow you will shown him the way,

I can see him drift, his mind disappear,

When he’s scared I pray that you’ll draw him near.

Each time I see him, I know in my heart,

That time’s running out, I knew from the start,

I knew that this illness would take him from me,

So soon, so quick, it’s hard to believe.

Lord I am asking that you will protect,

For a moment I plead “please don’t take him yet”

One look I can see that he doesn’t have long,

I wonder if he knows that something is wrong?

These questions could haunt me so I know I must,

Remind myself in you I must trust,

I pray that he’s sitting right there by your throne,

Dear Lord I pray, please come take him home.”

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A Poem On Dementia “TRAM IN NO-WHERE”

TRAM IN NO-WHERE

By Ellina Z., Melbourne

I stepped on to a tram

On Balaclva Road

Under the Railway Bridge

Next to the Fishshop

With all those cut-up fish steaks on display.

I stepped on to a tram

Without a sense of

Why

Or where am I climbing those steps.

Where is my  Bag?

My fingers are empty.

Nothing to clutch to

for security.

Where is my Bag

With all my life in it

to hold on to?

I am standing there on that tram

While it is starting to move.

I look around myself.

I am clothed.

Tram is half empty.

I have no sense

Of  where I am going.

Or how to go back.

And where is back?

On this tram

Nothing to hold on to

Although the seats

And rails are at hand.

I am just standing there

Abandoned by myself.

Traveling in nowhere.

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Poem – Fallen Rose Petal

Fallen Rose Petal

This poem was written by Heather Buckby.  It is a poem for her Nana who had suffered with Alzheimer for many years.  She wrote the poem for her Christmas present in 2011.  Here Nana later passed away in February 2012.

The past concludes, how much I’d mean to you

Although your disintegrating mind deceits you

Your eyes portray my individuality

The repeated word meaning of quality,

Your lost,

One day you’ll be found

But to late to breathe or make a sound

Incapable to help, I watch you fade

The pain in my heart never fades.

You’ll not understand the love I try to render,

However yours can be tender,

Grasp my hand, refuse to let go

Reaching for sanity that will never grow

 

You laugh and smile,

It can last a while,

But behind there is no reconcile

Gaze at me with them eluded eyes

I smile back as if we can recognise,

In your eyes I see bewildered blue showing happiness,

You can see my disguise,

You see gratified green,

When I leave you there’s floods of grieve

I am the stem you are the beautiful red rose petals,

trying to hold you together,

I’d try to do it forever

No matter how many petals slowly fall,

The stem holds on to the eyes of your soul

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Voice of Dementia – Poem by Barry Pankhurst

 

Barry Pankhurst suffers from early Mixed dementia with Alzheimer’s.  He writes beautiful poetry and is a wonderful advocate for Alzheimer’s disease and dementia at large.  For people who are interested you can view more recordings and find out more about Alzheimer’s and Dementia Barry’s website. 

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The Fight Never Ends by Norrms McNamara

Another poem by Norrms McNamara.  Thanks Norrms!

The Fight Never Ends

Is it too soon to be talking of this?
Secretly remembering our first kiss,
Of how you will manage when I’m gone,
…When my fight is finished, over and done,
I ask you this with tears in my eyes,
Trying to stifle a million cries,
Don’t be so silly, you`ll outlast me!
Is always your answer, but please will you see,
I need to make sure that life will be kind,
And then you can rest and have peace of mind,
I need to say this before the AD,
Removes all my memories and steals them from me,
I didn’t mean to make you cry,
Just want to be sure that you will get by,
You take hold of my hand and say” Listen to me”
Your going nowhere, why can’t you see,
We are in this together, no matter how long,
Nobody`s singing their last song,
You have provided for us, all of your life,
And I`m proud to say that i am your wife,
We have wonderful kids, and grandchildren too,
All of them grateful for the kindness from you,
Then I say Shhh; please just let me say,
That when my time comes, no matter what day,
You shall remember, that very first kiss,
And how all our life has been absolute bliss,
And do me one favour, is my question to you,
When you look up, at a sky that’s so blue,
Always remember, I will always love you,
And please say goodbye to all of my friends,
And always remember “The Fight Never Ends”

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