Archive for the ‘Advocate on Steroids for Caregiving’ Category

10 Tips To Make Life Easier When Caring For Someone With Dementia

10 Tips To Make Life Easier

When Caring For Someone With Dementia

Tuesday – May 17th, 2016

2pm  EST, 1pm CST, 12pm MST, 11am PST and 7pm London Time

051716 ASR graphic 10 tips when caring for someone w dementia Cyndy and Penny

Today we get to talk to Penny Garner founder of SPECAL also known as Contented Dementia and Cyndy Luzinski founder of the “Dementia-Friendly Communities of Northern Colorado”, who uses Penny’s techniques to improve dementia care.

Contact Information:

Penny Garner
•Contented Dementia Trust website: www.contenteddementiatrust.org
•Email: info@contenteddementiatrust.org
•Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/specalmethod/?ref=hl
•Twitter: @specalmethod

Cyndy Luzinski 
•Email:  cluzin63@gmail.com           Phone:  970-213-4548
•Website:  dementiafriendlycommunitiesnoco.org
•Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/dementiafriendlycommunitiesnoco/

Additional Resources:


Contact Lori La Bey Here

Meeting Planners Click Here


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Dementia & Spaced Retrieval – Learn What It Is and How It Can Help

Dementia & Spaced Retrieval –

Learn What It Is and How It Can Help

  Our Next Show is Friday May 13th, 2016 

 2:00pm EST, 1:00pm CST, 12:00pm MST, 11:00am PST and 7:00pm London Time

051316 ASR Jennifer Brush and Jeanette

Today we will talk to the Authors of the new book “Spaced Retrieval Step by Step,” Jennifer Brush and Jeanette Benigas.  These ladies have some amazing techniques to share with us, so I hope you can take the time to listen in.

Contact Information:

Jennifer Brush:          www.BrushDevelopment.com

Jeanette Benigas:      jbenigas21@aol.com

Additional Resource Information:


Contact Lori La Bey

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Next Dementia Chats is May 10th, 2016

 Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android:  https://zoom.us/j/308825861

Or Dial: +1 408 638 0968 (US Toll) or +1 646 558 8656 (US Toll)

Meeting ID: 308 825 861

International numbers available:  https://zoom.us/zoomconference?m=G05T7-PBYJXuH245yU5xG2cqWHdt5lib


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What Is Mother’s & Father’s Day Like When Your Are The Parent & Have Dementia

Dementia Chats™ Recording

What Is Mother’s & Father’s Day Like

When Your Are The Parent & Have Dementia

Our Topic Today is about:
Mother’s and Father’s Day. What is it like to be a parent diagnosed with dementia and  what it feels like to have lost a parent and how that impacts you living with the disease today.

Learn more about Dementia Chats™ below:

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Thank You To Our Experts Living With Dementia:
Harry Urban
Michael Ellenbogen
Truthful Loving Kindness
Brian LeBlanc
Laurie Scherrer
Mary Howard

Brought to you by Lori La Bey, Founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks and Dementia Chats

Facilitated by Lori La Bey and Co-Facilitated by Eilon Caspi.

Additional Resources

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Dementia In India – Does It Look Like Other Countries?

Dementia In India –

Does It Look Like Other Countries?

Our Next Show is Tuesday May 10th, 2016 

2:00pm EST, 1:00pm CST, 12:00pm MST, 11:00am PST and 7:00pm London Time

0051016 ASR Sailesh India 3

Today we are lucky to have Sailesh-Mishra from India with us.  Sailesh is Social Entrepreneur and Founder of Silver innings® a community dedicated to Senior Citizens in India and A1 Snehanjali, Assisted Living Elder Care Home. Listen and learn what dementia care looks like in India.

Contact Information For Sailesh-Mishra:

Email:            silverinnings@gmail.com           a1snehanjali@gmail.com

Website:       www.silverinnings.com                www.a1snehanjali.com 

Additional Resource Information:


Contact Lori La Bey


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Third Mother’s Day Without Mom

Feeling Lost and Privileged

Below is an article I wrote for my first Mother’s Day without Mom.  It was a very healing moment writing about her. I feel it still stands true and maybe, just maybe it will help others on their own healing journey.  I hope  you enjoy it.

By Lori La Bey – copyright 2014

Lori La Bey of Alzheimer's Speaks & Senior Lifestyle Trends

Lori La Bey founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks

Through my mother’s thirty year journey with dementia she continued to guide and teach me; love me in ways I did not know where possible, especially in times of illness.  It’s now been 72 days since mom slipped into the heavens and joined my father. Although I can rationalize her journey on earth is over and she is now in a much better place, free of pain, fully mobile and mind intact; I am struggling.

Today I Will Visit Her Grave Site With My Beautiful Daughter Danielle,

Who Loved Her Grandma So Very Much.

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Going There Gives Me A Sense Of Peace.

headstoneThe Cemetery, A Place Where I Can Honor Her,

Leave Roses And Balloons In Honor Of Our Relationship And

The Love We Had For One Another.


Throughout My Life, My Mother Has Been My Logical And Loving Conscious.

Mom Was My Rock.


Mom is the one I could always depend on. She was not only my mother, but my best friend.  As my friend Lisa Hirsch titled her book, “My Mother My Hero”  pretty much sums it up!

Through tough times she was my guide and support.

On special occasions we celebrated together.

Mom Taught Me:

To look for the tiniest of things to be grateful for.

To hold a hand out to those in need.

To love deeply.

To consciously make a difference in my life and others.

To work hard and be responsible.

To understand my impact on others; realizing, appreciating and honoring the world is much larger than myself and that we are all interconnected.

To understand that to be a Mother one does not have to have their own child; but rather to be willing to adopt a child in mind, body, heart and soul.

To make a connection and difference in someone’s life, is to be a Mother.


Mom Showed Me How By The Way She Lived Her Own Life.


Leading by example showing me a variety of ways to be a compassionate person.

How to listen to others, not just hear their words.

To look for nonverbal signs of what others truly want or need, when their words were lost or pride held them back.

To look past the everyday judgments and see the whole person standing before me.


Through Illness Mom Taught Me:

To let go of control. To realize it is a mirage, a trap of guilt and pleasure.

To embrace the simplicity of life.

To smile and spread grace.

To love more deeply than I ever knew was possible.

To laugh hard and authentically to embed the moment into my soul.

To look for and create joy in all moments of life, no matter how difficult they are.


To talk openly and honestly with others acknowledging all emotions without embarrassment.

To understand we are all in this life together and that shame, guilt and denial shut us down. Realizing the only way to get past those crunching emotions is to be open, honest and proud you’ve recognized them and what has triggered them; allowing you to move through them. Past them. Over them.

To not only say, “I’m sorry” when wrong, but to change my behavior to avoid it from happening again.

To feel my fear, think of alternatives to remove it and to be brave enough to take action to reclaim the life I envision.

To follow my instincts even when they seem goofy or senseless.

To trust in a higher power than myself, knowing I’m never alone.


To honor everyone’s beliefs.

To realize prestige, money and objects are just things.  They will not make you a better person; until you realize they can be powerful tools to expand your work for the greater good.

She taught me the importance of being person centered and what it truly means – which is how and why I created “Your Memory Chip.”  –  Are they Safe?, Are they Happy? Are The Painfree?

Through All These Lessons And More,

I Find I Still Want Her Back In This Physical World Where I Live.

Some days my heart aches so bad I think it will explode; or maybe, just maybe it will stop beating all together.  I logically believe and know in my heart mom is in a much better place. In heaven with my dad probably dancing and laughing with many friends and family who have also passed.

But Today, My Mind Wonders…

How Long Will The Pain Of Her Loss Last?

My heart longs for the warmth of her being.

My body reaches out to touch and embrace her, wanting to feel the calmness she always gave me.

My soul wants to be in her physical presence.  The presence that grounds me and allows me to feel strong and confident; even when weak.

My nostrils want to take in one last breath of her essence.

My mind wants to create more moments of joy with her.

Yes Today I Will Go To The Cemetery,

Where I Know She Is Not.

Mom’s soul is not limited to the small patch of grass next to her headstone.

Mom is in the air I breathe.

She is in the sunlight that warms me and ignites my growth.

She is the rain that falls, filled with nutrients and washing away the toxins.

She is the snow that chills me and brings a brilliant beauty by white washing this canvas called earth.

She is the sunset that screams at me to be amazed by our God and the beauty which surrounds me.

She is the moon that calls me to reflect, regenerate and give gratitude for the life I am blessed to live.

Mom, on this Mother’s day I honor you,

and all Mothers who have warmed a child’s heart, taught us soul lessons, loved us unconditionally as we have taken missteps, stumbled and fallen.

To all women who have been then there to pick us up and wipe us off.

Who have kissed a booboo.

Given a hug when we have felt unworthy.

Who sat silently in our presence when no words were needed to make us feel safe and loved.

To your hand, when you reached out to let us know we are not alone.

To your words of encouragement when we were down.

To your thoughtful and thoughtless

celebration when we finally got it right!

Each Mother is special.

An “Earth Angel” Guiding Us In This Physical World.

Thank you to all Mother’s, for who you are and what you do for the world at large.

Thank you Mom for all you taught me.

All you gave me.

All you continue to give me from the other side.

Your continued connection through dreams and through our souls has been a beautiful gift to me.

May Your Mother’s Day Be blessed. 

May You Hear The Love My Heart Sings For You.

heart on sheet music

I thought I would add this short video, one of many, which means the world to me.  It’s of my mom singing in her end stages.

For More Information And Resources On Dementia And Caregiving

Go To Our Website Below.


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Help Raise Awareness. 

Host A screening of the new dementia film “His Neighbor Phil.”

Join The Purple Angel

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Vascular Dementia – An Inside Perspective with Paulan Gordon

Vascular Dementia –

An Inside Perspective

Welcome to Conscious Caring Resources™ a new platform developed by Alzheimer’s Speaks to educate, share insights and raise awareness.  (Our other platforms are: Alzheimer’s Speaks  Radio – Blog- Dementia Chats™ Webinars and an international Resource Directory. In addition we do Keynotes- Training and Consulting)  We believe in giving voice and enriching lives around the world when it comes to our dementia are culture.  We hope you enjoy our inaugural launch.

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Today our guest is Paulan Gordon, who is diagnosed with Vascular dementia. She is a strong advocate involved in many initiatives including Alzheimer’s Speaks Educational Webinars called Dementia Chats.


Today Paulan talks about her booklet, Vascular Dementia – An Inside Perspective, which you can get on amazon for .99. It has great insights and will help many around the world. Listen in and pickup some great insights and tips!

Here are the titles to the chapters in the booklet:
Chapter 1: Dementia in the Dark
Chapter 2: Humor & Other Tension Breaking Activities
Chapter 3: What Led To My Diagnosis
Chapter 4: Developing a Support System
Chapter 5: Vascular Dementia Defined & Compared to Alzheimer’s Disease
Chapter 6: Early Signs of Dementia
Chapter 7: The Forgetfulness of Dementia
Chapter 8: Symptoms of Vascular Dementia
Chapter 9: Contributing Factors to Development of Vascular Dementia
Chapter 10: Traveling With Dementia
Chapter 11: Advance Directives & Power of Attorney
Chapter 12: People with Dementia are not Stupid

Our Guest, Paulan Gordon can be reached

On Facebook or by Email- PaulanGordon@Yahoo.com
You can purchase her book “Vascular Dementia – An Inside Perspective” go to Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/z8dbext

Conscious Caring Resources™ brought to you By Alzheimer’s Speaks and

Founder and Host of CCR, Lori La Bey.

For Additional Resources See Below:

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Click Here To Learn More About Hiring Lori La Bey

Find out how you can host the film, His Neighbor Phil

Click Here To Protect Your Loved  One

For Under $15 a Year


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You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You Might Be In Denial

Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

By Lori La Bey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to apologize to anyone who was offended by the original title of this piece “You Might Be Demented If…”  Although I got many comments saying the article was right on, I only received one comment on the title which used the word “demented.”   I loved her honesty and willingness to raise awareness of how important our words are, which I am well aware of.

In fact, I struggled with what word(s) to choose… dementia, demented, losing it, going crazy…  I wanted this to be a takeoff of “You Might Be A Redneck…” by Jeff Foxworthy, to be lighthearted enough to be heard, yet hit home with a punch; and so I chose the word “demented.”  I was actually looking forward to having our community discuss the importance of words and their perceptions.  In fact, here are a couple of great resources on just that point:

Dementia alliance International

Dementia Action Alliance

Anyways, hear is the article with a new title.  I think it will still hit home and be shared by others which is the point of writing it in the first place, to raise awareness.  What I have learned is the shift to dementia friendly is taking hold even STRONGER than I thought which is wonderful!

Sometimes I wonder who has dementia, myself included.  As Care Partners we are the ones whose executive function is supposed to be intact.  We are the ones who are to be logical and understanding…   But I’ve found caregiver denial and caregiver burnout looks very much like dementia.  Here are some signs you might be a Care Partner in denial or burnt out!

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You call a person with dementia to remind them of an appointment and then wondered why they aren’t ready to go or miss the appointment… Because they have a memory problem!

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

If you try to argue with a person with dementia…  Because you know darn well someone with a cognitive impairment can’t always process information logically.

  You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You have given someone with dementia directions to the bathroom and found out later they got lost and had an accident and then got mad at the person…  Because you didn’t connect the dots that you may have been able to avoid that embarrassing situation for them and you by assisting them to the restroom.

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You ask someone with dementia a complex question and then are surprised when they get angry or look at you with a blank stare…  When you know it’s best to break things down into 1 or 2 simple steps.

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You snap at someone for repeating the same thing over and over… When you know it’s new to them each and every time!

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You finish a sentence for a person living with dementia because it was taking them way “TOO LONG” to state their thoughts and then were surprised when they either pull out of the conversation or got mad at you for seemingly no reason…  When we all know most people with dementia need a few extra seconds to process their thoughts.

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You direct all your questions and comments to the Care Partner while ignoring the person with dementia and then wondered why the person with dementia becomes withdrawn and non-responsive…  Knowing that all people want to feel valued and validated, even those living with dementia.

 You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You spoke to a person with memory loss in a loud tone and slow pace… Because apparently you can’t differentiate the difference between being hard of hearing and having dementia.

You Might Be In Denial Or Burnt Out As A Care Partner If…

You told someone with dementia they can’t drive anymore getting into a big fight with them…  As you held tight to not validating their feelings of loss of independence because you were totally focused on your own feelings of guilt and grief of the changes in your relationship.

Yes, sometimes I wonder who really has dementia… Don’t you?

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