You Might Be Demented If…

by Lori La Bey of Alzheimer’s Speaks

Sometimes I wonder who has dementia, myself included.  As Care Partners we are the ones whose executive function is supposed to be intact.  We are the ones who are to be logical and understanding…   But I’ve found caregiver denial and caregiver burnout looks very much like dementia.  Here are some signs you might be a Care Partner in denial or burnt out!

You Might Be Demented If…

You call a person with dementia to remind them of an appointment and then wondered why they aren’t ready to go or miss the appointment… Because they have a memory problem!

You Might Be Demented If…

If you try to argue with a person with dementia…  Because you know darn well someone with a cognitive impairment can’t always process information logically.

You Might Be Demented If…

You have given someone with dementia directions to the bathroom and found out later they got lost and had an accident and then got mad at the person…  Because you didn’t connect the dots that you may have been able to avoid that embarrassing situation for them and you by assisting them to the restroom.

You Might Be Demented If…

You ask someone with dementia a complex question and then are surprised when they get angry or look at you with a blank stare…  When you know it’s best to break things down into 1 or 2 simple steps.

You Might Be Demented If…

You snap at someone for repeating the same thing over and over… When you know it’s new to them each and every time!

You Might Be Demented If…

You finish a sentence for a person living with dementia because it was taking them way “TOO LONG” to state their thoughts and then were surprised when they either pull out of the conversation or got mad at you for seemingly no reason…  When we all know most people with dementia need a few extra seconds to process their thoughts.

You Might Be Demented If…

You direct all your questions and comments to the Care Partner while ignoring the person with dementia and then wondered why the person with dementia becomes withdrawn and  non-responsive…  Knowing that all people want to feel valued and validated, even those living with dementia.

You Might Be Demented If…

You spoke to a person with memory loss in a loud tone and slow pace… Because apparently you can’t differentiate the difference between being hard of hearing and having dementia.

You Might Be Demented If…

You told someone with dementia they can’t drive anymore; getting into a big fight with them…As you held tight to not validating their feelings of loss of independence because you were totally focused on your own feelings of guilt and grief of the changes in your relationship.

Yes, sometimes I wonder who really has dementia… Don’t you?

Resources for Dementia and Caregiving

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Contact Lori La Bey

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Dad, Dementia and Ice Cream –

A Journey with Disease

On Alzheimer’s Speaks Radio Tuesday May 3rd at: 

2pm EST, 1pm CST, 12pm MST, 11am PST and 7pm London time

050316 ASR DEEDEE FOOTER caring for father


Today we will talk to DeeDee Footer, a daughter who uprooted her life and moved to take care of her father diagnosed with dementia. Learn for DeeDee’s struggles, joy and now mission to change our dementia care culture.

Contact Information for DeeDee Footer: 

206-321-0766                   deedeefooter@yahoo.com 

Additional Resources for Caring and Dementia


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The Power of Music – Can’t Be Denied!

Need A Keynote Speaker on Alzheimer’s, Dementia and/or Caregiving?


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Contact Lori La Bey To Discuss Your Speaking, Training and Consulting Needs.


Thoughts on Caring Roles,

Dementia & Sacrifice

on Dementia Chats

Welcome To Dementia Chats A Free Educational Webinar Where Those Diagnosed With Dementia Are The Experts!

Today we discussed our caring roles and the perceptions of sacrifice as we give care and receive care.  We also touched on funding to support both roles.

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Click Above To Learn More and Watch Past Webinars

Thank You To Our Experts Living With Dementia:

Harry Urban
Paulan Gordon
Brian LeBlanc

Brought To You By

Lori La Bey, Founder of

Facilitated By:

Lori La Bey

Additional Resources Are Listed Below

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Find Out How to Host a Screening of this film by contacting Alzheimer’s Speaks, a Platinum Sponsor of the film.

Protect Your Loved One In Case Of Wandering and Give Yourself Peace of Mind

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New Initiatives Making Great Head Way

In Dementia

Listen in at 2pm EST, 1pm CST, 12pm MST, 11am PST and 7pm London time.

Click Below to Listen to the Achive

042616 ASR UsAgainstAlz

We are doing a two hour special Tuesday, April 26th to highlight the expansive work of UsAgainstAlzheimer’s.  The first hour we will talk with Founders George and Trish Vradenburg.  The second hour we will focus on several of their subgroups to find out what they are up to as well.


USAAGeorge Vradenburg

George Vradenburg is Chairman of UsAgainstAlzheimer’s, which he co-founded in October 2010. George was named by U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius to serve on the Advisory Council on Research, Care, and Services established by the National Alzheimer’s Project Act and has testified before Congress about the global Alzheimer’s pandemic. He is a member of the World Dementia Council. George and USAgainstAlzheimer’s co-convene both the Leaders Engaged on Alzheimer’s Disease (LEAD) Coalition and the Global CEO Initiative on Alzheimer’s Disease. He and his wife, Trish, have long been dedicated members of Washington’s civic and philanthropic community. George is Chairman of the Board of The Phillips Collection, Trustee of the University of the District of Columbia and a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and The Economic Club of Washington. He has served in senior executive and legal positions at CBS, FOX and AOL/Time Warner. George and Trish published Tikkun Magazine for 10 years (Editor-in-Chief Rabbi Michael Lerner is Trish’s brother).

USAATrish Vradenburg

Trish Vradenburg is Vice-Chair of UsAgainstAlzheimer’s, which she co-founded in October 2010. Trish began her career in Washington, D.C. as a speechwriter in the U.S. Senate. She has written for various television shows, including Designing Women, Family Ties, and Kate and Allie. Trish’s novel, Liberated Lady, was chosen as Literary Guild and Doubleday Book Club selections and has been translated into three foreign languages. As a journalist, she has written extensively for the New York Daily News, The Boston Globe, The Washington Post, Ladies’ Home Journal and Women’s Day. Surviving Grace, Trish’s quasi-autobiographical play, was produced at The Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. and Off Broadway at the Union Square Theater. It is now being performed at various community theaters throughout the country, as well as in Portuguese in Brazil. She serves on the Council of Theater J, and on the boards of DC Vote and the Vradenburg Foundation. She presently writes three blogs. 

USAA JAson Resendez


Jason Resendez directs the LatinosAgainstAlzheimer’s Network & Coalition, the nation’s first national initiative to activate Latino health, policy, and community stakeholders in the fight against Alzheimer’s and dementia. Previously, Jason served as senior manager of strategic partnerships at the National Council of La Raza (NCLR), the nation’s largest Latino advocacy organization.

USAA Drew Holzapfel


Drew Holzapfel serves as the Executive Director of The Global CEO Initiative on Alzheimer’s Disease, a coalition of private sector leaders from pharma, biotech, finance and healthcare delivery.  Prior to joining the initiative, Drew was at Pfizer working on the company’s Alzheimer’s pipeline strategy and in commercial development for late stage compounds.

USAA Jill LesserWA2_Logo_Stacked_Tagline_2015

Jill Lesser  is President of WomenAgainstAlzheimer’s.  Motivated by her own personal experiences as caregiver to her mother with Alzheimer’s, she brings her passion and dedication to the cause. She joined the Board of UsAgainstAlzheimer’s, a nonprofit organization dedicated to stopping this disease.  Now, as President of the women’s network, her focus is to amplify the powerful voice of women – a group that is largely affected as both the patient and caregiver. Her organization gives women a platform to speak up, advocate for research funding and promote research challenges to find a cure.




Virginia Biggar directs the Patient-Caregiver and Faith Initiatives at UsAgainstAlzheimer’s. Ginny brings 20 years of media and communications experience as a writer, reporter and filmmaker to the UsAgainstAlzheimer’s campaign. Ginny was a reporter for National Public Radio in Los Angeles and Washington D.C. prior to joining UsAgainstAlzheimer’s.

For Additional Information and Support

For Dementia and Caregiving

Check Out Alzheimer’s Speaks Resources Below.

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 All sessions are free and open to both the public and professionals!  Each session is recorded for your convenience in case you can’t make them live.

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Learn How To Be A Host of This Extraordinary Film

Which Showcases Life With Dementia.

Looking For A Keynoter To Inspire & Energize Staff ad Family?

Contact Lori La Bey

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Over 250 Shows, archived for your convenience.

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Conscious Caring Resources – Video Interviews Coming Soon!


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Protect Your Loved One.  Be Prepared and Get a Discount!

Join Dementia Chats Tuesday Morning!

11am EST, 10am CST, 9am MT, 8am PST and 4pm London time.

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Enter The 4th Tuesday Of The Monthhttps://zoom.us/j/754961834

Or Dial: +1 646 558 8656 (US Toll) or +1 408 638 0968 (US Toll)

Meeting ID: 754 961 834

International numbers available:  https://zoom.us/zoomconference?m=_eEg53ol0nKrCvwkJL7IC976NtUtxewq

Hope you can join us for an informal conversation with our experts diagnosed and living with dementia.  Everyone is welcomed!

We also have a session on the 2nd Tuesday of the month if you want to mark you calendars ahead of time, to  make sure you don’t miss the session.

Enter The 2nd Tuesday Of The Month – https://zoom.us/j/308825861

Or Dial: +1 408 638 0968 (US Toll) or +1 646 558 8656 (US Toll)

Meeting ID: 308 825 861

International numbers available:  https://zoom.us/zoomconference?m=G05T7-PBYJXuH245yU5xG2cqWHdt5lib

Additional Resources Are Below:


Click Here To Learn How To Host an Event

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In Texas?  Join Us April 28th!


Afraid A Loved One Will Wander?  Get Your Discount Now

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Diet, Disease and Dementia


 Alzheimer’s Speaks Radio  

Next Show This Tuesday April 19th, 2016 

2:00pm EST, 1:00pm CST, 12:00pm MST, 11:00am PST and 7:00pm London Time

Dr. Richard Isaacson joins us today.  He is the Author of “The Alzheimer’s Diet.”  We will discuss the importance of nutrition, the impact it has on our bodies and a new medical food that has shown in studies to help those with Dementia.  The product, Axona, is available now under prescription.

Contact Information:

Website   www.TheADplan.com Two Books: The Alzheimer’s Prevention and Treatment Diet and Alzheimer’s Treatment and  Prevention: A Patient and Family Guide

Website for Axona   http://www.about-axona.com

Axona on Twitter  https://twitter.com/AxonaForAD

Axona Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/AxonaForAD

Keynote and training Moto Inspire


Check out Audible     www.audibletrial.com/SOCIAL

Check out Fresh Books   www.gofreshbooks.com/alive

The Long Hello –

Memory, My Mother and Me

041516 ASR Cathie Borrie the long hello.pub

Join Us Friday, April 15th, 2016 – Click Above to Listen Live

2:00pm EST, 1:00pm CST, 12:00pm MST, 11:00am PST and 7:00pm London Time

Today we will talk with author Cathie Borrie who has written a beautiful book called “The Long Hello,” which shares her personal story of learning to live with her mother and her diagnosis of dementia in a gracious and grateful way.

Contact Cathie Borrie via her website:   cathieborrie.com

You are invited to celebrate the launch of the U.S. edition of The Long Hello ~ Memory, My Mother, and Me by Cathie Borrie 

 the long hello book cover

 For those not able to attend, books are available here: http://bit.ly/1LUHHaS

​Date: Wednesday, April 20th

Time: 6-8:30pm

The Emily Harvey Foundation Gallery 

2nd Floor – 537 Broadway,  New York 

Includes a reading by Cathie Borrie, 

accompanied by actor Jill Eikenberry


 GOOGLE MAPS – The Emily Harvey Foundation – 537 Broadway 10012 

Reviews on The Long Hello – Memory, My Mother, and Me

A Powerful, Ground-Shifting Account of Caring for a Parent with Alzheimer’s


Maya Angelou, author, poet, civil rights activist

“A sparse yet deeply affecting poetic story of love and devotion . . . that will pierce and heal the heart.”

Lisa Genova, author of Still Alice

“A graceful dance between mother and daughter through the ever-changing rhythms of Alzheimer’s disease. Beautiful and profound . . . One of my favourite books on the topic!”

G.Allen Power, MD, author of Dementia Beyond Drugs and Beyond Disease

“An exceptional book about caring for people with dementia that offers a paradigm-shifting approach to maintaining relationship.  Borrie enters deeply into her mother’s world, and a poetic dialogue of mutual love and respect is the result.  Should be required reading for everyone caring for people with dementia, and included in the syllabus of healthcare professionals learning how to do so.”

Marc Wortmann, Executive Director, Alzheimer’s Disease International 

“Cathie Borrie has learned how to respect the wisdom in her mother’s free associations.  The Long Hello will touch deeply all who love.

Naomi Feil, author of V/F Validation: The Feil Method

“A loving, dutiful daughter writes about her desperate confrontation with her mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. Though she holds degrees in public health and law, her vocation is clearly creative nonfiction. . . As Borrie presents them, her mother’s non sequiturs, surely a badge of Alzheimer’s, make a wonderful kind of poetry, mysterious and even witty. Journal entries combine for a short, poignant record of two lives, a moving history of a mother and her child.”

Kirkus Reviews

~The Book~

Cathie Borrie has advanced degrees in health and law, and even trained as a nurse, but nothing prepared her for the experience of caring for her mother, Jo, while she was living with Alzheimer’s disease. After many wrong turns in trying to bring back the person her mother used to be, Cathie realized that her role was to follow, not lead – something she learned in studying ballroom dance.

Delighted by the things Jo would say, she decided to tape their conversations, and a wondrously poetic dialogue unfolded. In Borrie’s spare prose, her mother’s story becomes a family’s story as well as a deeply loving portrait that embraces life.  Cathie performs theatrical readings at international conferences on Alzheimer’s and caregiving.

Additional Resources Below



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Take Advantage of the Discount offered by Alzheimer’s Speaks and CAC!




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