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Posts Tagged ‘Lisa Hirsch’

Feeling Lost Without My Mother

Feeling Lost

By Lori La Bey – copyright 2014

Lori La Bey of Alzheimer's Speaks & Senior Lifestyle Trends

Lori La Bey founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks

Through my mother’s thirty year journey with dementia she continued to guide and teach me; love me in ways I did not know where possible, especially in times of illness.  It’s now been 72 days since mom slipped into the heavens and joined my father. Although I can rationalize her journey on earth is over and she is now in a much better place, free of pain, fully mobile and mind intact; I am struggling.

Today I Will Visit Her Grave Site With My Beautiful Daughter Danielle,

Who Loved Her Grandma So Very Much.

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Going There Gives Me A Sense Of Peace.

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The Cemetery, A Place Where I Can Honor Her,

Leave Roses And Balloons In Honor Of Our Relationship And

The Love We Had For One Another.

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Throughout My Life, My Mother Has Been My Logical And Loving Conscious.

Mom Was My Rock.

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Mom is the one I could always depend on. She was not only my mother, but my best friend.  As my friend Lisa Hirsch titled her book, “My Mother My Hero”  pretty much sums it up!

Through tough times she was my guide and support.

On special occasions we celebrated together.

Mom Taught Me:

To look for the tiniest of things to be grateful for.

To hold a hand out to those in need.

To love deeply.

To consciously make a difference in my life and others.

To work hard and be responsible.

To understand my impact on others; realizing, appreciating and honoring the world is much larger than myself and that we are all interconnected.

To understand that to be a Mother one does not have to have their own child; but rather to be willing to adopt a child in mind, body, heart and soul.

To make a connection and difference in someone’s life, is to be a Mother.

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Mom Showed Me How By The Way She Lived Her Own Life.

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Leading by example showing me a variety of ways to be a compassionate person.

How to listen to others, not just hear their words.

To look for nonverbal signs of what others truly want or need, when their words were lost or pride held them back.

To look past the everyday judgments and see the whole person standing before me.

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Through Illness Mom Taught Me:

To let go of control. To realize it is a mirage, a trap of guilt and pleasure.

To embrace the simplicity of life.

To smile and spread grace.

To love more deeply than I ever knew was possible.

To laugh hard and authentically to embed the moment into my soul.

To look for and create joy in all moments of life, no matter how difficult they are.

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To talk openly and honestly with others acknowledging all emotions without embarrassment.

To understand we are all in this life together and that shame, guilt and denial shut us down. Realizing the only way to get past those crunching emotions is to be open, honest and proud you’ve recognized them and what has triggered them; allowing you to move through them. Past them. Over them.

To not only say, “I’m sorry” when wrong, but to change my behavior to avoid it from happening again.

To feel my fear, think of alternatives to remove it and to be brave enough to take action to reclaim the life I envision.

To follow my instincts even when they seem goofy or senseless.

To trust in a higher power than myself, knowing I’m never alone.

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To honor everyone’s beliefs.

To realize prestige, money and objects are just things.  They will not make you a better person; until you realize they can be powerful tools to expand your work for the greater good.

She taught me the importance of being person centered and what it truly means – which is how and why I created “Your Memory Chip.”  –  Are they Safe?, Are they Happy? Are The Painfree?

Through All These Lessons And More,

I Find I Still Want Her Back In This Physical World Where I Live.

Some days my heart aches so bad I think it will explode; or maybe, just maybe it will stop beating all together.  I logically believe and know in my heart mom is in a much better place. In heaven with my dad probably dancing and laughing with many friends and family who have also passed.

But Today, My Mind Wonders…

How Long Will The Pain Of Her Loss Last?

My heart longs for the warmth of her being.

My body reaches out to touch and embrace her, wanting to feel the calmness she always gave me.

My soul wants to be in her physical presence.  The presence that grounds me and allows me to feel strong and confident; even when weak.

My nostrils want to take in one last breath of her essence.

My mind wants to create more moments of joy with her.

Yes Today I Will Go To The Cemetery,

Where I Know She Is Not.

Mom’s soul is not limited to the small patch of grass next to her headstone.

Mom is in the air I breathe.

She is in the sunlight that warms me and ignites my growth.

She is the rain that falls, filled with nutrients and washing away the toxins.

She is the snow that chills me and brings a brilliant beauty by white washing this canvas called earth.

She is the sunset that screams at me to be amazed by our God and the beauty which surrounds me.

She is the moon that calls me to reflect, regenerate and give gratitude for the life I am blessed to live.

Mom, on this Mother’s day I honor you,

and all Mothers who have warmed a child’s heart, taught us soul lessons, loved us unconditionally as we have taken missteps, stumbled and fallen.

To all women who have been then there to pick us up and wipe us off.

Who have kissed a booboo.

Given a hug when we have felt unworthy.

Who sat silently in our presence when no words were needed to make us feel safe and loved.

To your hand, when you reached out to let us know we are not alone.

To your words of encouragement when we were down.

To you thoughtful and thoughtless celebration when we finally got it right!

Each Mother is special.

An “Earth Angel” Guiding Us In This Physical World.

Thank you to all Mother’s, for who you are and what you do for the world at large.

Thank you Mom for all you taught me.

All you gave me.

All you continue to give me from the other side.

Your continued connection through dreams and through our souls has been a beautiful gift to me.

May Your Mother’s Day Be blessed. 

May You Hear The Love My Heart Sings For You.

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Tomorrow Look For The Short Post, A Gift Mom Wants Me To Share With All Of You.

For More Information And Resources On Dementia And Caregiving

Go To Our Website Below.

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Register For The FREE Telesummit on Dementia Feb 10th -15th

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The “Triumphing Over the Isolation of Alzheimer’s Telesummit: Simple Solutions for Family and Professional Caregivers” is a 5-day online event with leading experts providing the information and resources you need to evaluate your needs, identify action steps and find solutions!  There is a great line up of speakers. (Please note the schedule could change.)

To Learn More and Register Click Here

DATE TIME (EST)   SPEAKER   TALK TITLE
           
Mon, Feb 10 8PM   INA GILMORE MD   Welcome and Overview
  9PM   LORI LA BEY   Improving Dementia Care Through Economical & Global Collaborations
  10PM   JANET EDMUNSON   Importance of Positive Emotions for Caregivers
           
Tues, Feb 11 8PM   JAMES CREASY   Jiminy Wicket and Through Hoops to Hope
  9PM   KIRTI KHALSA   The 4 Pillars of Alzheimer’s Prevention
  10PM   MICHAEL ELLENBOGEN   Living With Alzheimer’s
           
Wed., Feb 12 8PM   CATHIE BORRIE   The Long Hello of Alzheimer’s
  9PM   ELLAYNE GANZFRIED   Let’s Communicate: Strategies for Caregivers
  10PM   MARC WORTMANN    The Global Alzheimer Movement 
           
Thurs, Feb 13 8PM   LISA HIRSCH   My Mom My Hero
  9PM   TOM & KAREN BRENNER   You Say Goodbye and We Say Hello: The Montessori Method for Positive Dementia Care
  10PM   DENNIS STACK   Building Legacies Saves Memories and Unites Families
           
Fri, Feb 14 8PM   GARY LE BLANC   Alzheimer’s/Dementia Hospital Wristband Program
  9PM   HARRY URBAN   My Thoughts On Dementia
  10PM   DENISE CRAIG   Young Onset Dementia Support Group – Facebook
           
BONUS TALK          
Sat, Feb 15 2PM   ISRAEL ELLEN   The Six Pillars of Brain Health

To Learn More and Register Click Here

For additional resources on dementia and caregiving check out our website below

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In Celebration of

September is Worldwide Alzheimer’s Month &

October NYC Walk

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Lisa Hirsch’s is going to offer in honor of her Mom,

her EBook for FREE from Sept 28th – Oct 2nd, 2013.

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Connect with Lisa on her Website or Facebook

For more resources check out our website

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ASR_050613_hirshc_brengleClick above to listen to the show

Monday we will have Keith Brengle on our show.  Keith is a son dealing with his Father’s dementia.  We will talk openly about their journey and how his coping with the disease.

Check out the music video Keith set to Kenny Chesney’s song “While He Still Knows Who I Am.”

Here are the Lyrics to the song

Kenny Chesney’s Website

Our second guest will be Lisa Hirsch, Author of My Mom, My Hero will join us.  Lisa is a passionate advocate and has some great insights into caring for someone with dementia.  Come and join the conversation!

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Lisa can be reached via her blog

http://www.mommyhero.blogspot.com

Her book “My Mom My Hero” is  available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide

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